I'm crazy... I can hear my laughters today.. feel my craziness.. I don't even know what I'm doing, but keep on laughing till my face cracks.. But, I'm not happy at all. I wanted to cry so much that I swear if there's any point I stop laughing, I'll break down crying. But the problem is, why am I sad? I don't even know the answer to my own question.. Because Mum still not talking to me? No.. it won't affect me that much I guess.. Friends? Love? None were the answer. Maybe I should see a psychologist soon, one of this day, I'm just gonna break down. I wanted to cry, cry out loud, yet this is so hard to do. I'm choking from all this stress, and I swear the space to breathe is getting lesser and lesser. Perhaps I'm just a nutcase, someone born to be like that... Giggling, laughing when I felt nothing but pain... I'm getting chubbier, gonna cut down on my diet soon, sigh! Sometimes we just have to see things we don't want to see, sometimes we just have to face things we don't want to face... I love all of you, my friends... I can't bear to leave to school knowing that I gonna graduate soon.. This school which I used to hate so much, wanted to leave so much, yet now I can't bear to go...
Kisses,
Kaili
I'm crazy... I can hear my laughters today.. feel my craziness.. I don't even know what I'm doing, but keep on laughing till my face cracks.. But, I'm not happy at all. I wanted to cry so much that I swear if there's any point I stop laughing, I'll break down crying. But the problem is, why am I sad? I don't even know the answer to my own question.. Because Mum still not talking to me? No.. it won't affect me that much I guess.. Friends? Love? None were the answer. Maybe I should see a psychologist soon, one of this day, I'm just gonna break down. I wanted to cry, cry out loud, yet this is so hard to do. I'm choking from all this stress, and I swear the space to breathe is getting lesser and lesser. Perhaps I'm just my nutcase, someone born to be like that... Giggling, laughing when I felt nothing but pain... I'm getting chubbier, gonna cut down on my diet soon, sigh! Sometimes we just have to see things we don't want to see, sometimes we just have to face things we don't want to face... I love all of you, my friends... I can't bear to leave to school knowing that I gonna graduate soon.. This school which I used to hate so much, wanted to leave so much, yet now I can't bear to go...
Kisses,
Kaili
Today is such a sad day for me.. I quarreled with my Mum over some silly matters and we aren't talking to each other now. I cried so much throughout the whole day that my eyes are swollen while she called my Dad crying and complained too... I'm such a bad kid in their eyes.. From what i know, they are so disappointed in my sister that they kinda placed their hopes in me, sometimes bragging to their friends that i am the more sensible one.. But instead, this gave me more pressure as I always had to act like somebody that whom I'm not... I'm anything but a goody goody.. Lying and decieving myself won't change the fact.. sometimes ppl just need to face the truth. I can't go to sleep now.. I was so igitated today that even though I woke up only at 2, I slept at 3 again after quarreling with her. Sleeping in my room allowed to hide in this little confined place where I won't have to face the chaos outside, this is the place I felt really secure in. So after forcing myslef to sleep till 9 something and lying on the the bed pretending to be asleep, I finally woke up and had my so called dinner. I can't believe that I'm going school despite it is youth day tomorrow, *sigh* all for the DnT.. I think, I'll never appear at the canteen again unless necessary from tuesday onwards. I'm not taking anymore allowance from Mum.. I just don't want to face her. Alright, better end now before i go crazy... gonna go!
Love,
Kaili (00.27)
Kaili Wang a.k.a Bimbo
Officially 18
Virgo
Crazy girl
Fun-loving
Graduated from
Innova Junior College
Embrace Christianity
[[*Her loves*]]
Loves the sun
Loves her darlings
[[*Her Hates*]]
Coldness
Cruelty
Losers
[[*Girl's Past Histories*]]
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[[WhatEver*]]
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